An insignificant/significant life

One of the things I enjoyed most about homeschooling my kids was reading to them. Breeze would sit by my side; Dugan would grab his legos and play on the floor. Occasionally I would check in with Dugan to make sure he was still listening and it went something like this: “So the boys headed to the river with their dogs. They couldn’t wait to swim… but then a bad guy came out of the woods with a knife and there was blood everywhere… When they got to the river…” Dugan would then look up and say, “I’m listening, Mom.” “Okay, just checking.”

I had a similar experience as Dugan’s on Friday when I was reading the book of Acts, chapter 12. “About that time King Herod Agrippa began to persecute some believers in the church. He had the apostle James (John’s brother) killed with a sword. When Herod saw how much…” What?!!! Hold the phone. James was killed with a sword!? And that’s it? There’s no explanation? No reaction? Instead the writer just moves on with the story of Peter getting arrested and later, miraculously, being set free. But no more mention of James! How did I not read this before?

I could not get this out of my head. James was one of THE 12 disciples! He was the first disciple to be killed, to be martyred and he gets one little line in scripture??? Good grief, the death of John the Baptist and even Stephen got more air time. Did John mention the pain of losing his brother in his gospel or his letters? When did John write his letters and when did Acts get written? So many questions bombarding my mind. So I spent all of Friday night looking for answers.

Google tells me that John wrote his letters about 30 years after Acts was written. I then proceeded to read all of John’s writings (except Revelation). Looking for mentions of the pain and the loss of his brother. But there is none to be found. John writes as a wise elder with encouragement and direction and love. No doubts, no hesitations, no loss of faith.

So throughout my sleepless night (why this caused such a stir in me, I do not know), I landed on two thoughts.

First, the loss of James had to have been excruciating for John. James was not only John’s brother and partner in their fishing business, but they had shared a traumatic and an intense 3 years together with Jesus. Years of wonders, miracles, friendship, threats and validation. Yes, validation. Jesus chose them - both of them - to follow him. I can’t imagine two brothers more close than James and John. But John doesn’t write about James’ death. At least not in his gospel or letters. Which makes me wonder if he kept a private journal. A journal filled with his own descriptive experiences. A journal that he wasn’t comfortable sharing because it was so emotional. I honestly don’t know. But his feelings, the pain of his brother’s murder had to go somewhere.

The second is about James. James and his brother were fishermen and then a rabbi comes along and invites them to follow him. Not only do they join in with 10 others, but James, along with his younger brother, John, and Peter are brought into Jesus’ inner circle and experience moments with Jesus that change them forever: a little girl resurrected, the transfiguration, praying with Jesus in the garden.

James had to be asking himself, “why me?” Because there’s nothing written in scripture that makes James a stand-out-in-the-crowd kind of guy. He doesn’t write, he doesn’t preach, he doesn’t get written about. And yet, he was one of Jesus’ best friends.

I wonder if he knew how important he really was?

I find James’ life and death to be so significant. Even though there is so very little written about him. And it makes me wonder. Who are people around me today that live equally “insignificant”/significant lives? People who are quiet, less noticeable, living in a way that wouldn’t get them written about, but are intimately close to Jesus?

So, I’m on the lookout. I want to get to know a James or two and bask in their relationship with Jesus. I want to spend time with them and learn from them. And, possibly through them, remember and honor James for the man that he was, the man that Jesus chose to be one of his best friends.