That was the question I presented to Eva one evening this past week. We talk about a lot of things each night when we’re together. In fact, we have a bit of a routine. I begin by telling her about my day. She starts wide awake but as I get into the details, without fail, her eyes begin to droop. I then say, “Hey, are you bored with my day?” And then her eyes open wide. With a smile on my face I then say, “Fine! Shall we read then?” Her eyes blink so off I go to get our book. We usually read at least one chapter, if not two or three.
After reading, we move onto music. A while ago, I decided to introduce Eva to lots of music genres. Because if she had her way we’d listen to Taylor Swift 24/7. But me, I want variety. So we listen to music from the different decades, country, of course, pop, R&B and classical. We listen to Etta James, Pentatonix, the Rat Pack, Blessing Offor, Michael Buble, Ben Rector, Kane Brown, the scores of John Williams, and Broadway musicals. And so much more. I’ll point out specific instruments and unique voices and sounds. We spent several nights, recently, talking about the difference between a stage voice and a pop voice.
It was the night we were listening to a song from Schmigadoon that the tap dancing question came. I’ve always loved tap but never did it myself so as I’m listening to these kids dancing, I started to wonder if I’d get the chance to dance like them when I’m in heaven.
Which then sent me to thinking about all this and more in the following days. My mind filled with questions. Would I be able to tap dance in heaven and would I, automatically, be good at it? Would I have a better singing voice? Would I be able to do all the other things that I have longed to do?
Which then led me to wonder if I would be living a different life with different abilities if I had been in an environment that provided it. Is there more to me than what my surroundings have afforded? Was God honoring my family and circumstances, making the best of how I lived and where I was raised? Had he designed me to be different yet parts of me could never be developed because of my upbringing?
Geesh! Someone turn off my brain!!! But then two show-stopping thoughts occurred to me.
One, maybe God does move us around in an unexpected way in order to unlock the giftedness he gave us. That would sure explain my years of acting and writing. I never stepped foot on a stage or picked up a journal before I accidentally joined the Willow Creek drama team. I don’t think I would have ever tapped into my imagination without God’s freakishly creative movements in my life. I know this for a fact because I’m living a life that my family of origin never hinted to.
But then I got more thoughtful about heaven. Revelation says that there will be no crying, no death, no mourning or pain. I have a pretty active imagination, but this is something that I cannot imagine.
A life where I live as a happy and comfortable introvert. With no social anxiety and no embarrassment for always leaving the party early. A life where I wake up with no guilt or feelings of loss. Days of no sin. AND no memory of sin. Relationships healed and whole. Thoughts that I don’t have to spend time reigning in; words that I don’t have to pause and rearrange in order to speak thoughtfully and respectfully. No record of wrongs, no irritability, no judgment, no jealousy.
What in the world would that be like? I don’t know. I’ve never had a day when I was without sin or insecurity or the weight of wrongs that I carry. But that’s what heaven promises. It makes me giddy to think about, even though I cannot imagine it.
So, yes, I think I’m going to be doing all sorts of fun and untried activities in heaven. And it won’t matter if I’m good or not because failure and critics don’t exist there. Only joy. Which will be expressed by me as I tap dance.
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