Live like they're dying

I have always found funerals to be educational. From the choice of music to the order and type of service to the people who speak. It all tells me so much about the person who has passed. But it’s the “sharing time” that always captures my full attention. Whenever a person is speaking about their friend or family member who has died, I find myself wondering if the person in the coffin or in the vase or in the picture knew all that.

My (former) mother-in-law died this week. I hadn’t seen her in a few years yet her presence has remained with me. Just based on how she lived her life, she influenced how I interacted with people, how I worked to create a home that was inviting and welcoming, and how I learned to accept people just the way they were. She was an amazing mom, friend, wife and mother-in-law; a woman who had a tremendous impact on me for the 25 plus years that I knew her.

And I have been wracking my brain all week to try to remember if I told her all that.

Because funerals and milestones should not be the time to suddenly decide to honor someone. It really ought to be an everyday occurrence. When I walk away from an experience or a conversation and it’s been life giving or thought provoking, I ought to tell the person. When I observe someone, be it friend or stranger, and they’ve said or done something that caught my attention, I ought to tell them. My life ought to be one of on-going encouragement and acknowledgment of those around me and what they mean to me. Those everyday, average day moments should not be locked away in my mind and in my heart, but spoken of. Outloud. To the person right there, standing in front of me.

Goodness is to be shared with the world, especially to the goodness-giver.

Tim McGraw has a great song entitled, “Live Like you were Dying.” One of the verses says this:

"Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying, like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity to think about…what could you do with it….”

Well, instead of thinking that I’m dying, what if I thought of the people in my life as though they’re dying. Believe me, I know that sounds so morbid, but…it puts life in perspective for me. To live my life taking advantage of every moment I have with people around me. Telling them (possibly ad nauseam) what they mean to me. How they have impacted my life, be it big or small. Even to reminisce about shared times and experiences. To end every day having made sure that I shared all the good moments with the person who gave them to me.

So that the next time I am asked to speak at a funeral or a milestone, I can begin confidently by saying, “They know all this already….”