Walking with a Limp

About 5 years ago I tore my left meniscus. While jumping on a backyard trampoline. A year later I tore my right meniscus. Line dancing. Gotta say, there’s no better way to go down - literally - than while having fun. Due to my age (who doesn’t love that phrase), surgery was not an option. The cartilage wasn’t strong enough to be reunited so it was home therapy for me - bending my knee and riding a stationary bike to bring about healing. As a result of these tears, walking long distances and, especially, running are no longer an option for me, without some ibuprofen to get me through it.

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about walking and my faith and how both have changed over the last few years. About a year into Eva’s accident, like my meniscus, my faith snapped. And the two ends dangled for a long while. My faith became lost and was truly detached from me. After a bit of time, I realized that I needed to do some serious therapy if I was ever to walk in faith again. And so I did that. Spent about a year reading through my Bible, underlining promises that I wasn’t sure I still believed any more. I kept going until the day came when I found that my faith and trust were back. Not in the way they used to be because there was still some bruising, but that seemed to be okay. With me and with God. I guess you could say that I came out of it similar to, I think, Jacob’s experience. A slight limp yet with a renewed commitment to my life with God.

So, yep, I don’t walk the same. And I don’t pray the same. As I have become aware of what my knees can and can’t do, I have taken the same precautions in my prayer life. What can I ask for? What can I trust God to do? What can I believe for even with some damaged faith?

Which got me thinking about Anna, the prophet, who spent decades of her life at the temple, worshiping God with fasting and praying with what appears to be an unwavering commitment to God EVEN AFTER having lost her husband and the life that she, most likely, dreamed of. And it was near the end of her life that she met, in person, her Messiah. She, then, spent her final years talking about him to everyone, finishing her time here on earth praising God.

I want to be Anna for Eva and for others, even though I’m a bit bruised and broken. I want to remain in the temple, never giving up, praying and believing that God will move and provide and heal. So I’m committed to staying put, working on my faith, as I walk with a limp, a limp that reminds me that God is here and that He loves me no matter what state I’m in. And because, who knows, like Anna, maybe one day I might turn around and there he’ll be.